Friday, January 19, 2018
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Why Beard Life Became A Religion In 2016

The power of beard life cannot be underestimated. Throughout time it’s been a symbol of manliness and virility. When men hunted the mighty bear and the resilient boar through the forests, the beard gave them strength. When men chopped down trees to make homes for their families and firewood to keep them warm, they stroked their beards for added masculinity before doing so. Without our beards, we men are just aimless nothings floating on the winds of obscurity and testosteronelessness (that’s totally a word).

Over the last few years, beards have made a startling comeback. The appreciation for all things beard has returned and with it, our purpose for life. It is therefore with loving adoration for man’s greatest facial accessory that I leave you with the world’s best beards of 2016. Marvel at the beauty, respect the beard, love the man – for the beard is life and life can only be complete and whole with the beard.


1. Because everyone should be able to marvel at your glorious beard, no matter which way you’re facing.


2. We have nothing but respect for you, Beard Man.


3. The first rule of beard life is that you don’t talk about beard life.


4. What does it all mean?


5. Introducing the eighth wonder of the modern world.


6. This guy is judging you for your stupid lack of facial hair right now – you can see the contempt in his eyes.


7. You can’t look like a greek god, without a beard from the gods.


8. The classics never die, they’re just too goddamn manly to care about the hype.


9. “Grow towards the sunlight my pretties”.


10. This abstract beard shows men everywhere that the beard is a piece of art and it should never be trivialized.



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